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Back in 2014, my left arm was extremely itchy and numb I told my fiancé, something feels strange. The next morning, I remembered going to lift my two year old son up from his crib and my left arm giving out on me. Confused, I looked at my arm and with no pain I tried to reach for him again. There was no pain, only a feeling of numbness, tingling and weakness. Something was wrong.
On exactly March 24th 2014 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, MS. I was 29 years old, growing in my career, strong minded and pushing through the corporate ladder. Learning and teaching others along the way. I realized I had to learn a new way to live, a way that will help me stick around longer for myself and my family. I aimed to become mentally and physically healthier. My fiancé has always practiced healthy eating and exercised his body, and I have always found it intriguing how powerful our minds are. It is where all our goals, dreams and hopes live. I needed a system where I can work on my mind first, followed by the body.
Processing my thoughts was step one. Being angry and scared was not benefiting me. I expected everyone to understand. My job needed to understand, my mother needed to understand, my siblings, those I called my friends. Nope! Expecting everyone to understand was my first mistake. Therefore, how can I expect everyone to understand when I was confused? Why me? I have a demanding job, I have a home to maintain, a relationship to protect and a son to raise and now medication to take everyday? Everyday for the rest of my life?
Everything was so overwhelming, depression kicked in. I became very quiet and disappeared from pretty much everybody’s life. Already being an emotional person, I became a big waterfall ALL the time. My shower time was my crying time. I didn’t want my family to see that side. With time I realized and accepted the fact that I had a chronic illness. Things will never be the same again, but I will fight to give myself the best I can. I will make the necessary adjustments, go to my appointments, educate myself on MS, and pay attention to my body.
What is Multiple Sclerosis? It is an autoimmune, often disabling disease that affects the central nerve system. In simpler terms, it is a chronic illness that disrupts the flow of information from the brain, and between the brain and the body. Often referred to as the snowflake disease, not one person is the same. MS warriors can all be affected differently. It all depends what part of our body or nerves are being attacked. Always listen to your body, I had an itchy arm, and woke up with weakness and numbness. I knew it was something I had to share with my doctor. Do not ignore your body. There are certain subtle signs your body can experience. If any of the below sounds familiar, please seek a doctor ASAP.
- Pins and needles/numbness
- Body Weakness
- Lossing Balance
- Blurry Vision/rapid movement or pain in the eyes
- Extreme fatigue that sleep can’t fix
- Hand tremors
- Sensitivity to climate
- Brain fog/Confusion
- Bladder dysfunction
Finally, after three years struggling with the ups and downs, I feel mentally and physically stronger then ever. As far as the physical part, I can pick up, hug and play with my son everyday. I am currently in remission and the new chemo/transfusion medication has been a great choice. My third transfusion will be on August 9th. I plan on documenting that day and sharing with you guys!
My goal is to share what I have learned, and how far I have come. Although, there is so much more I have to endure and experience in life, I feel ready for the challenge. All of this is a journey, a journey toward peace, mindfulness, and strength. I am here to tell you becoming mentally and physically healthier and stronger from the inside out is possible. You should first work on being strong and healthy in the inside. From what you think about yourself to what you nourish your temple with.
“There are some things you can only learn in a storm”