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Every relationship we have in our lives is a working progress. The bringing of two people may not always be a smooth ride. Now that doesn’t mean that you must continue on that specific ride, but it does mean you have to make some necessary changes for a smoother one. Relationships are not always romantical, the truth is that friendships, family relationships, co-workers, are all core parts of our daily lives. But the relationship that you have with yourself is the most important one of all. Regardless of the type of relationship you are dealing with, they must ALL be re-evaluated. There came a point in my life when I had to sit down question and ask myself:
What am I contributing to this relationship?
What am I learning from this relationship?
Is this relationship disturbing my peace?
5 signs of a Healthy Relationship
The first important relationship to me is the one I have with myself. The second important one to me is the relationship I have with Willy, my fiancé. At this point in my life I consider both relationships healthy and the core of strength and happiness in my home. There are five essential aspects that make my relationships healthy: trust, respect, reliability, support, and accountability.
I believe that trust is what allows our relationships to grow and maintain strong. The trust has to go both ways. Others should be able to trust you the same way you trust them. It is very important to give people the benefit of the doubt. It is an amazing feeling when you can trust someone and know they have your back especially when your not around. I find it to be less stressful. When you let go of the pressure of trying to figure out what someone else is doing with your trust and time you allow yourself to balance the difference between a healthy and a non-healthy relationship. Your thoughts and mind react differently.
People know that respect is an essential part of any relationship but some may allow the line to be crossed. In my opinion sometimes we might not even know when it is happening. This is why it is very important to set your boundaries. Do you know your boundaries? What are some things that are an absolute No in your book? This is so important. If I can sum up my top three boundaries I will have to say: Don’t ever put your hands on me, Don’t talk down to me or use disrespectful words toward me, and do not try to control me. If you don’t set your boundaries, others can easily treat you however they want. Do not leave a door open for anyone to disrespect your body, mind or soul. Your safety and self-respect is worth everything.
You should have someone you can rely on and go to for advice or just as a listening ear. These are things that you should be able to provide too. All relationships are two way streets. This is something I struggle with. Due to the fact I can be very private and to myself about my personal life it may seem like I don’t want to rely on anyone or ask for help when I need it, in my mind “I got this” attitude always interferes with me relying on anyone even for moral support. I also know that it might come off that people can’t rely on me. But that is not the case at all. This blog has helped me become open, available and a reliable source to anyone, while still being able to maintain my space. I love it! Best of both worlds! Find your way to be reliable, honest, and supportive to those you love and cherish!
Support goes hand in hand with reliability. In neither case am I referring to financial support or reliability. Although, if that help is ever needed make sure its and emergency and never abused. Even the people we love and love us don’t always want to dish out money time and time again. When I refer to support I am talking about supporting each others choices and opinions. Being understanding even if you don’t agree. But the people around us that we truly love need encouragement just as much as you do. Be sensitive to their thoughts and ideas. Build a non-judgemental environment. A place you are free to speak with respect and from the heart. That’s the kind of support I have created and it has helped me grow and understand myself and others.
Sometimes it is hard to admit you are wrong. But the first one to do it is the strongest. That’s how I like to look at it! We are humans and we all make mistakes, but we don’t want to hurt the people we love. The biggest part of a relationship to be healthy is to know when you have to take accountability for your actions. Maybe something was said or done to you, but the other person doesn’t see it that way. If it is a healthy relationship you should be able to sit down and discuss the issue. There have been plenty of times I have tried to explain to what was a very close friend of mine, that her ways were not ok. That maybe she should see things differently or approach situations differently. I was no longer in a trusting, respectful or reliable friendship, and unfortunately after 20 years of being friends I realized my peace is being disturbed and I no longer wanted that in my life.
The relationships you have and carry out through your life are a representation of yourself. It is never to late to create new beautiful learning relationships and friendships, and it is never to late to clean out those that are no longer fuelling your soul.
“People inspire you, or they drain you- pick them wisely”
-Hans F. Hanson
Have a happy and healthy hump day!